life lessons from a 16-year-old: learn how to be alone

For a teen, the most important thing is to have friends. If you want to survive high school having friends you trust is important. But it is more challenging than it sounds. I have struggled with finding the right friends for years. I was in a trio for most of the middle school and sick of not being the first choice of someone. I was tired of worrying about where to sit on the bus on a field trip because I knew I would be the one to sit alone. I was tired of worrying about who to do the project with when the teacher told me to choose a partner. Because I knew I would be the one to look around waiting for someone to lock my eyes with. This was tiring. 

When I started high school I thought my punishment was finally over. But this time I found myself in a group where I was excluded. No one valued me. Then I learned a vital thing. I have to stop worrying about being alone. 

Being alone can teach you a lot. It can teach you that not hanging out with friends for a week isn’t being lonely. It can teach you that life still moves on. In each minute you spend with yourself you learn how you are valuable. You realize how life isn’t about others but yourself. 

I want you to imagine a door. A locked door you don’t know what there is behind. The key is the mystery and you have to solve it. After countless wrong keys, you lay your eyes on one and know it is the one. And finally, you open the door and see a beautiful garden with butterflies and flowers everywhere. It is a place where your brain can finally rest, it is peaceful. 

Keys aren’t the simile in this story, it is you finding yourself. It is you realizing life will somehow find a way for yourself. And most importantly it is you understanding that no matter what you always come first. Developing, loving, and cherishing yourself is the key. Know your value, and never be scared to lose someone. 

Letting go of the ones who hurt you isn’t as easy as it seems. It may take long for you to realize the scars but once they burn, it hurts a lot. You will wonder, why me? Why was I picked? Out of all these people in the friend group, why was I the one to be hated? It drives a person crazy to find an answer to these questions. But once you find the strength to let go of them, those scars will heal. You will find people who stitch those scars up. But, never forget, you should be the first one to stitch them up, don’t wait on anyone. 

I think it is like a boat. All the waves and winds try to bury you deep inside the ocean. You lose control of the rudder. But once you change your path you will see an island with coconut drinks and a hammock waiting for you. That will be when you will say “I’m glad I chose myself”...