are birthdays overrated?

In this article, we will discuss the patheticness of birthdays and how to survive it. 

Every kid who doesn’t celebrate their birthdays has a resume of their birthday parties they ended up crying. Once, I cried at one of my birthday parties when 7-year-olds brutally tortured the pinata, and they attacked the chocolate and sweets that were on the floor, leaving me empty-handed. That was when I decided that birthday parties just weren’t for me. So, I stopped celebrating. Over the years, birthdays have become an ordinary day for me. Of course, everyone gives different values to their special day, but are birthdays overrated?

in the most general way…

Let's start with the meaning of “birthdays”. Birthdays are days in which people celebrate your growth and being. They show their appreciation for knowing and witnessing your maturation. In the most well-known and general way, birthdays are celebrated with cakes and presents. People invite their loved ones to their celebrations and have fun. But as years go by, these parties turn into simple dinners. Now the real question is, can’t these “special” dinners be experienced on any day? Do we need to label or, in other words, “reserve” a day to have a jubilation?  Is it that hard to say to someone, “I love you and cherish your presence, and thank you for engaging your serenity or  sorrow with me every day” on an ordinary day?

Anniversaries of birth are usually the day people feel loved. All the spotlights and attention are on one particular person. All the gifts, letters, and compliments are meant for them. However, isn’t it pathetic to wait 364 days just for these? Since when did spontaneous bursts of love for a person become extinct? If there is no escape from a birthday, what are the ways of surviving one?

how to survive  a birthday 101

1. Never expect anything. If you have a healthy relationship with birthdays, good for you! If you don’t, join the party. As a girl who cried on her every single birthday, I’d say I’m an expert in this matter. It’s not that I experienced traumas with every single one of them, nor that the reasons for me to cry were significant. I cried over the cake being banana flavored, I cried over not getting the doll I wanted, and I cried over not winning the “popping the balloon” game. But they were valuable things for me at that time. I was expecting to have a chocolate cake, I was expecting to get the Barbie airplane, I expected to win the game. If I hadn’t expected any of these things, I would have had the best party ever! But I did because as you wake up with special crepes, a special hug, and a kiss from mom and dad, you feel the need to expect. Now, it is clear that it is inevitable not to expect. So, you need to become immune to all those “specials” not to get carried away by its spirit. Just think of all those hugs and kisses as ordinary ones! 

1. Small celebrations. If you are obligated to have a party, just invite the ones from your inner circle. I once had a birthday party in our backyard, and the girl I felt “obligated” to invite just to be kind blew the candles instead of me. Of course, I cried and pulled the girl’s hair, but hey! I learned my lesson only to invite the ones I “want” to invite. In conclusion, you won’t have to think about that girl’s hair braids being prettier than yours, nor how your friend is acting like she is the birthday girl if you just don’t invite them! 

1. Never plan to go to a place. On my 13th birthday, when I finally understood why not expecting on birthdays was the safest option, I only requested my parents to go to a restaurant where I loved their pasta the day before my birthday to celebrate. The scheduled time was 7 pm to hit the road. The clock hit 7.30, and still, my dad was nowhere to be found. I called him to ask where the hell he was. He answered the phone calmly, and I heard the sounds of the copy machine and the echo of his office. At that moment, I realized that my dad was so far away from coming home by how calm he was considering that he was late and how I didn’t hear his voice the way it sounds when he connects his phone to the car. Of course, with my teenage calmness, I scolded him and threw a tantrum at my mom because she said, “It was no biggy.” After all, we went to the restaurant, I ordered my pasta, and they said they were out of it. So, yeah, you get the message. 

In conclusion, birthdays are tough. Expectations are inevitable; people are messy. But the important thing is to value the person you cherish every day so that a bad birthday is nothing but a missed opportunity to feel worthwhile.